Celebrating Christmas Present

Embracing Christmas present is the hardest task. We’re running in so many directions all in the name of yuletide cheer. But the truth is we’ll never get this Christmas back. Our family will never again get to experience the wonder of this season with a seven and five year old. With one look at the photo of your chubby toddlers on Santa’s lap you know it’s a worthwhile fight to be present.

Here are a few simple ways we’ve found to enjoy and embrace the season as a family without having a total breakdown in the process.

Advent Countdown Calendar:

I made our first Advent countdown calendar five years ago—the kids were so little!  Each day from December 1-25 holds a little slip of paper describing a special activity for the day. You call that simple? Yes, it really is. Remember that calendar you mapped out when you were in prep mode? So many days already spell out your activity- getting the tree, decorating the tree, the Christmas play at school, and the party you were all invited to…. On the other days you fill-in with easy activities that make some magic, simply.

Here are some of our favorites:

• Candlelight bath: Gather up all the candles in your house, put on some classical Christmas music, add bubbles and let your kids have a decadent soak.
• Book picnic under the tree: We gather up a big stack of Christmas books, set out a blanket and with our hot cocoa in hand, read thru the stack.
• Family movie night: At our house, this means popcorn sprinkled with M & M’s and all of us squished on the sofa together.
• Nativity hide and seek: For an Advent family night, hide all the pieces from your nativity scene and have the kids search for them. Bonus for whoever finds baby Jesus.
• Kid/parent date and shopping night: This is something we all look forward to every year. We head down to State Street and split off in pairs (one adult/kid) and pick out present for the other pair, all meet for dinner and then switch again.
• Drive around to look at lights, stop for hot chocolate: If you live in SB, the CB&TL on upper State St. has an outdoor fire pit.
• Dance party with glow sticks: Has yet to let me down.
• First morning of Christmas break: Lazy morning of pancakes, pajamas and claymation cartoons.
• Christmas date with spouse: A must! Try and book the kids’ fave sitter early and you’re golden.
• Family pizza picnic in front of the fire: So easy, so fun...put on some jazzy holiday music and don’t forget the wine for mom and dad!
• Make cards for your teachers: With googly eyes and glitter, of course.
• Take cookies to your neighbors: Because you don’t want to eat them all…
• Do something nice for someone (and keep it a secret)!
• Call/Skype two special people and sing Jingle Bells or Deck the Halls: This is a hit with grandparents.

Many of my girlfriends do the countdown with their families and say it has become one of their favorite Christmas traditions. We even brainstorm ideas over e-mail as we all get our calendars prepped for the month. More than anything else, I’ve found this holds me accountable during a task-filled season to take some time each day to be with the kids, really be with them, making fun memories.

Advent Questions:

A family we love and admire gave us these questions a couple years back. Each of these questions were on a separate strips of paper and nestled in a box in the shape of a star. Throughout the month we pick a question over dinner, during family Advent time or before bed- whenever it felt like a good time. These are excellent questions and great conversation starters. It’s so simple, but a great way to focus hearts and minds on the real message of Christmas.

These are a couple of the questions from the list to give you an idea:

• How much light does it take to drive out darkness?
• If you were one of the three kings visiting Jesus in today’s world, what gift would you bring?

Here's the link (hopefully) to the questions for you to print out.

Gift Giving:

An informal poll shows the biggest stressor of the holidays is gift giving- managing expectations, staying on a budget, trimming down the gift list, unexpected gifts that make you feel like you have to run out to Target and find something to reciprocate fast.  Every family is different when it comes to how they handle gifts. Below are a couple ways we are trying to tame this blessing and curse of the Christmas season.

I found this Santa List on Pinterest last year and love it. It’s a great tool for getting my kids to think through what they are asking for and discern between wants vs. need. I also like that it’s not an open-ended list to rattle off five different Lego sets. I knew this was a good tactic when my son’s birthday came around and he automatically made his list following this same format!

This year, at the start of November I told the kids they were now on a spy mission. They needed to be watching and listening around the house for clues as to what someone might want or need for Christmas. It has been fun to have them go off and whisper to each other or tell me to cover my ears while they conspire. It’s been an easy way to get them focused on giving, and giving well, rather than adding items to their wish list.

If it works with your family dynamic, get creative with your giving. There are so many worthwhile organizations that count on Christmas time donations to make their work possible. Our church in NC hosted a program where people could buy books, tools, even bags of rice for families in our sister church in Guatemala. Receiving a card that told us school supplies had been purchased in our name meant more than any ornament or box of candy ever could.

Put the focus on the memory, rather than the stuff. There’s a family that has made a game of the adult siblings meeting at Kmart (there’s no Target in SB), setting a $20 limit, picking names on the spot and having a timed mad dash to find the perfect gift for each other. How fun is that? I just had coffee with a friend who is traveling to Oregon over the holiday and instead of a bunch of gifts they're all getting new cross-country skis. The plan is to spend Christmas day outside together skiing, stopping in warming huts for hot chocolate and sugar cookies as they go.

A lesson I’ve learned (the hard way) over the years is that you don’t have to do everything, you just have to give intention and thought to those activities you do chose to do. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist, so telling me to just let go doesn’t really work for me— what does work is reminding myself to chose the most important things and give my heart, talent and time to those endeavors.

Next and last, we’ll take a shot at celebrating Christmas future.