Celebrating Christmas Past

Dickens was onto something with the whole concept of Christmas past, present and future. There is no other time of year when we are stirred to such a loaded mix of reflections. Searching for a way to connect to the memories of our past, trying to enjoy and embrace the present moment, always with an eye to the future— to the traditions, memories and character we want to build as a family.

The whole goal of an Authentic Christmas is not to make your life more complicated, but to give it more meaning. By bringing intentionality to the things you already do, you can add the connection that offers deeper meaning.

TRADITIONS:

We all have traditions that mean “Christmas” to our families. For one dear friend, it was an exquisite ornament presented to her mom by her dad each year. Living on a teacher’s salary it was an extravagance, which made it all the more special. My friend carries on that tradition in her own family and every special ornament she collects connects her to her childhood, to her parents’ example of love, sacrifice and appreciation for beauty.

Most of us bake during the holidays, many from treasured family recipes handed down. Bring your kids into the kitchen and as you mix and measure talk about your great aunt or grandmother (all the better if you have some old pictures to show them). Like all of us, kids long for connection and this is such a natural way to give them a connection to their past, with delicious results.

We celebrate Sunday Family Advent Nights, just like my husband did growing up in Ohio. They aren’t always peace on earth kind of moments, but there has yet to be a time when our kids light the candles that my heart doesn’t skip a beat thinking of my husband as a child lighting those candles with his brothers. Reading the same scriptures and singing the same songs as all the generations before connects us to the timeless communion of saints— what could be more beautiful?

Whatever special family traditions you have, talk about them with your family. Why they are important, even if they are of the silly variety. Tell the stories, share what they mean to you. Better yet, send an e-mail to your parents, siblings and/or grandparents and ask them to share why that tradition is important to them or a funny memory about a Christmas past.

Sharing and passing on these moments connects us with our younger selves, our wider family and faith. Most importantly, it shows your kids that they are part of something much bigger than themselves— and then allows them to play a part in the continuation of the story.

REMEMBERING:

I had my first kid seven years ago and have been plagued with “mommy brain” ever since. However, there is some magic combination that occurs when that tree is trimmed, carols humming in the background and I’m all cozy on the sofa that allows parts of my memory to open up. Suddenly, I remember so many details, people, places that make up my lifetime of Christmas memories.

I think we should all try to carve out space and quiet to give ourselves the treasure of strolling down memory lane. Some moments may be bittersweet, or funny, or bring to mind someone special you haven’t thought of in years. Pray for those who come to mind, send them love, send them peace, send them a letter or even an e-mail. Yes, the season is busy, but give yourself the gift of a few early morning or late night sessions- just you, the tree, beverage of choice and those precious memories.

LOSS:

All the reasons why the holidays are wonderful are also the reasons why they can be excruciating for someone who has suffered a loss of someone close to them. Mark does bereavement counseling and makes the point that with the loss of someone close, such as a parent, spouse, child or sibling, the pain does not subside with the years that pass. That pain stays forever with the one left behind, it is a mark of the love that was shared.

If you have someone close to you that has gone through such a loss, the best gift you can give him or her is acknowledgement. Our friend who lost her son said her biggest fear is that his life would be forgotten. It doesn’t take much and you don’t need to get too wordy— you aren’t out to fix anything, just show your love. Send a card sharing a memory, donate a book to the library in their loved one's name, give them a beautifully scented candle and let them know you’re thinking of them and the person they lost – every time they light that candle through the season it will be a reminder that their love is remembered.

THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS:

My favorite retelling of the Christmas story is from The Jesus Storybook Bible- it’s told in such a poetic, beautiful way that it makes the beloved story fresh and alive. Don’t let the season pass without contemplating the gift of Jesus and the message it brings to all- light out of darkness, love that conquers death, lavish generosity over clinging to what we just don’t need. Read the nativity story in the Bible, look up the lyrics to your favorite carols, and/or celebrate a weekly Advent devotion as a family. 

Wherever you are in your faith journey, open your heart to the wonder of the season and ask to have eyes to see the stars guiding your life. Then, share that journey as a family, finding the gift of Christmas. 

Next up, celebrating Christmas Present...