The hope is to create magic memories as a family and to raise kids that grow into
compassionate, caring, creative people. The Christmas season is filled with extra work
and time, but it’s a worthwhile investment in building traditions, faith and
character.
Build a Legacy
of Compassion:
Build a legacy
of compassion and generosity by incorporating giving to those in need as part
of your Christmas traditions. Be open to need in broad definition— those on the
other side of the world, in your community and your circle of friends and
family. From donating money to a worthwhile organization helping third world
countries, to taking a 20 lb. bag of dog food by the animal shelter, to inviting a
single friend over for a night of kid-fueled Christmas cheer, to simply letting
a worn out mom cut in front of you in the check-out line. Get the kids involved
by giving them some ownership and responsibility in the process.
During Advent
we have a special day where we do a service project as a family and what we do changes
each year. Our day is in honor of a special loved one we lost. It adds a deeper
level of meaning to give and serve in her name. There’s a little bucket that
the kids put money into all year long and that becomes the base funds for
whatever we decide to do. We let the kids brainstorm how
they want to give; it’s been incredible to witness their compassion and
creativity.
Speaking of compassion and creativity, one fun family we know makes giving a memorable adventure. The group of sisters (now all adults) and mom pool money that they have put aside throughout the year. Then, they head downtown days before Christmas when it’s buzzing with activity. They hunt down the grumpiest, crankiest department salesperson they can find and simply go up and gift them with the money, a card and a big “Merry Christmas!”
Get to Church:
Before you skip
over this section, please give me a minute. Trust me, we're well acquainted
with all the reasons why the church isn’t perfect. We have a growing list of
friends that don’t go to church anymore— they have been burned, frustrated or
uninspired too many times. However, it’s of value to share a religious journey
with your children—you can’t expect them to grow into spiritually grounded beings
without modeling your own journey. Like we’ve said before, it’s not about
having all the answers, it’s more about being willing to have the conversation.
Advent season
is a great chance to dip your toes into church waters. Much of the music and
scripture texts will have some familiarity and it’s a natural time of year for
questions of faith to come up at the dinner table. Allow yourself to open your
heart to the message of Christmas wherever you are on your faith journey.
Also, think of it this way- your adorable, squirmy kids in the pew can be an unknown blessing to the older couple sitting behind you who are missing their far away grandchildren. Seek out a local church for a Sunday or two and allow your family the adventure of trying something new.
Giving What
Matters:
There is another
family where every Christmas Eve the father writes a letter to each of his
children (all four!), slipping an envelope under their bedroom door in the
middle of the night. He’s a doctor and I remember him telling me how one
Christmas week his call schedule was so crazy that he didn’t get the letters
done. He thought the kids wouldn’t notice because they were in the middle of teenage glory, indifferent to everything. Christmas morning came and they
demanded their letters! I’m sure that those brothers and sisters will barely
remember any particular gift from under the tree over the years, but they will
hold onto every word of those letters.
A mom that I’ve
forever admired told me about a Christmas when her kids were teenagers and they
didn’t give gifts to each other, instead opting to give a needy family an
amazing Christmas from start to finish. The plan was to just have stockings
on Christmas morning. She confessed that two days before the 25th
she was tempted to go out and shop for her kids, worried that the morning would
lose it’s magic. She resisted and said that Christmas turned out to be one of
the most special they’ve ever shared, in large part because that morning the
emphasis was on the joy they had been able to give to others.
It’s been said
forever because it’s true— the best gift you can give is your time, attention
and love. Especially in our current culture it can be hard to step away from
all the distractions, to unplug and connect with the people right next to you.
My personal goal (which I fail at all the time but keep on trying) is to give
my best to the people that matter the most to me. This Advent, let’s
fight the good fight to give, love, celebrate and be present to the season.
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